


Lucky You

by XV_ictorious



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Healing, Longing, Post-Time Skip, Snow, Suicide mention, Wholesome, Winter, hand holding, self-harm mention, two girls bonding over their faith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26255419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XV_ictorious/pseuds/XV_ictorious
Summary: Just after reuniting with her old classmates, Mercedes visits the Garreg Mach Cathedral for her evening prayer. She finds a lone Marianne praying by herself and decides to join. The two of them bond over their faith and belief in the goddess, sharing a deep conversation about their pasts and what their faith means to them.
Relationships: Marianne von Edmund/Mercedes von Martritz
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29
Collections: 2020 Ultra Rarepair Big Bang





	Lucky You

The cold at this time of year was something Mercedes had been prepared for thanks to her time in Faerghus. Though now it was a special kind of chill. The empty, desolate, ruined monastery carried a weight unknown to her. She lifted her heavy shoulders each day with a steadily climbing strength. The consequences of which caused a sore feeling in her chest. Without anyone to share the burden of her faith left, having abandoned the monastery on that day five years ago, she felt completely alone. Just as she felt marching across the snow-covered bridge leading to the cathedral, light snowfall filling the blank space in the air. A single set of footprints preceded her arrival.  _ Who could be here at this hour? _ She wondered.

An orange tint in the sky as sunset befell the monastery, Mercedes hoped to conduct her afternoon prayer before getting much needed rest. The soft crunch of her boots against the thin coat of snow beneath her filled her ears. Her breath visible before her, she paused to admire the view of the mountains just beyond the monastery’s walls. The white peaks pierced the sky like needles, extending to the heavens. If she climbed them, she might even be able to see the goddess. She quickly rejected the thought as just musing before turning to make her way into the cathedral at last.

The massive cathedral doors were sitting open, likely for years since the monastery was abandoned. The cleanup had yet to make its way this far out of the monastery’s main area. It was such a shame. Now more than ever was when Mercedes felt the need for her prayer. At the end of the long hall stood a pile of rubble, crushing the altar. Subdued light shone through the hole left in the ceiling. As much as it made her ache, she ultimately didn’t mind the desecration. After all, she prayed to the goddess, not a stone. What caught her eye the most was a lone head of blue hair sitting solitary in the center of a pew closest to the front of the cathedral.  _ So it was Marianne? Of all the others, she certainly would be the one to come here. At least someone still has faith after all this time. _

Mercedes walked the aisle, her boots clicking on the dirtied tiles of the cathedral’s floor. She kept her footsteps light to prevent any distraction to Marianne’s prayer. As she grew closer to her companion, she noticed Marianne bowed her head, hands clasped tightly as if gripping onto her life itself. Her lips moved slightly as she mouthed her prayer to herself. It would be rude to invite herself into Marianne’s company, so Mercedes spoke up with a warm voice, “May I join you, Marianne?”

The words made Marianne jump in her seat accompanied by a quick gasp. She twitched her head to look at the voice’s source, eyes wide from being startled. “Oh. It’s you, Mercedes,” she shifted her gaze back to the floor. “Yes you may. Please, sit.”

“Wonderful. I’m happy to have found you here. I find praying with company much more enjoyable than doing it alone.” Mercedes placed herself on Marianne’s left. There was no answer to her comment. When she looked at the woman beside her, she resumed the position she was in before, lowered head, hands together, whispering a prayer to herself. Mercedes decided to join in this method. She enjoyed engaging in the prayers of her friends by replicating how they pray. She felt closer to them that way. And for Marianne, she wanted to help her feel as welcome as possible, even if she couldn’t see it. She then mouthed her own prayer.  _ Dear goddess, please help us find the light in the dark during these times. Shine down on my friends and their friends. We need your guidance the most now. May the coming days, no matter how difficult, bring us out the other end better and kinder. For every scrape and bruise we accumulate, may we find the embrace of a loved one. _ She paused for a moment and took a deep breath.  _ And for the woman with me right now, may she find her own happiness in the days to come. She needs a guiding hand to lead her until she need only to walk beside them. _

As she closed out her prayer, Mercedes lifted her head and found Marianne sitting quietly with her gaze turned to the rubble before them. Curiosity overcame Mercedes as she wanted to peer into Marianne’s heart to know what she was thinking. “What were you praying for, Marianne?”

No words came from her for a seemingly impossible amount of time. Her eyes darted back and forth, like she was stuttering in her head. Never once did she bring her eyes to Mercedes. Then she spoke, “Oh, well…” She sighed. “I was just praying for everyone’s health and safety. I want everyone to find success in the future.”

Though the words themselves were real, the intent they carried was false. Even if that really was what she wanted, it wasn’t what she was praying for. “And what of your own goals, Marianne?” Mercedes gently placed a hand on Marianne’s shoulder, prompting her to jump yet again before tensing up, shrinking. “What do you want for yourself?”

Silence filled the cathedral around them for another moment before Marianne found words to say. Her face grew from one of confusion, sadness, grief to one of all three with a layer of determination. “I want to be forgiven.”

“What do you mean?” Mercedes moved her hand across Marianne’s back, soothing her into releasing what she’d been holding in.

“I know the goddess hates me for what I asked her to do. For what I did to myself. Now I just want her to forgive me for it.” Marianne at last looked to Mercedes, her eyes red.

“What did you do?”

She once more turned her face downward, fiddling with her fingers. Another sigh came from her, as did a drop that fell on her hand. “I haven’t told anyone this before…” More time passed as she paused. Mercedes kept rubbing her hand along Marianne’s back for comfort. The soft cotton of Marianne’s blue dress against her palm felt cold. Marianne released a long breath. “Back when we were students, I… I used to pray for the goddess to take me to her. To end my suffering.”

Mercedes removed her hand from Marianne’s back and took her friend’s hand in her own, offering some of her warmth to protect her vulnerable friend. Her lips curled into a smile as her eyes started to water at Marianne’s confession. “I’m happy to see that she never fulfilled your request.” Such a strong woman sat there before her, someone who in the face of the most crushing of thoughts and feelings still lived on. Even if it was that she had faith that she wouldn’t need to take action herself, she still decided to live. “Do you still feel that way?”

“I do.” Her breath turned short. “Though not as much as I used to. Now I don’t even deserve to be here with you. Not after everything I did as a student. Not after how much of a coward I was to run away and hide during the war.”

Mercedes tightened her grip on Marianne’s hand. “Marianne, feeling guilt right now is perfectly natural. And you’re so strong for even coming here when you didn’t need to. And you aren’t a coward. None of us would have blamed you if you decided to stay home instead.” Her voice carried a stern, kind tone. She spoke firmly yet gently. She wanted to broadcast her intent clearly while offering Marianne comfort. “You especially shouldn’t feel any shame for your feelings. You can’t control them.” She paused. Mercedes wanted to ensure that Marianne wasn’t alone. That she was welcomed. “Do you mind if I tell you a story? About when I was living in that church?”

Marianne nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Well, as I’ve told you, I used to live in a church when I was living in the Kingdom. And while there I gave my entire being to my faith in the goddess. To an extent, I do now as well, but back then it was much more extreme. Anyway, I used to pray for something not unlike what you did. I wanted to be reunited with my father.” She stumbled through her words, digging deep through the thick layers of protection she’d built over the years. “People only talked to me because of my crest. I just wanted to be treated as a person, but I wasn’t.”

Hearing these words, Marianne gasped. “Really? I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

Mercedes laughed it off. “You don’t need to apologize, it’s in the past now and I’ve grown since then.” She turned her own eyes to the floor, the memories bringing back feelings she hadn’t felt for some time. “And besides, I never really knew him so I don’t know what kind of person he was.” Her head pulsed from her heavy heartbeat as she revealed her past insecurities. Something about the warm presence Marianne gave was pulling out the things she kept hidden. With each word she spoke, she relaxed more and more, leaning closer against Marianne’s side. “But I just wanted you to know that no matter what, I’m here for you. You don’t have to go through it alone.”

From Mercedes’s eyes, Marianne seemed unaware of the contact their shoulders made as she leaned against her. Her mind was only on searching for the words to say. “But I deserved it. All the pain I brought along with me all this time, it’s what I really thought I deserved.” She lifted her head. “But, with the help of everyone, the professor, our friends, you…” Mercedes felt her hand tighten as Marianne gripped it with hers. “I found a way to live. If you hadn’t helped me and guided me with your faith, I don’t know how much longer I would’ve lasted.”

“And that’s why we turn to the goddess. She’s there to help us learn to find peace and forgive ourselves, despite all the trouble we’ve caused, the pain we’ve endured.” Mercedes felt warm drops land on the back of her hand, one after another. It was then that she realized Marianne was crying. She lifted a hand to her face, wiping the tears from Marianne’s eye. “It’s okay. Your existence is beautiful, Marianne. I’m truly blessed to have met you.”

Between short, quick breaths, Marianne forced words from her throat. “Thank you, Mercedes. I’ve never spoken with someone who feels the same as me.”

“I’m glad we could connect like this, Marianne. Perhaps we should come pray together here more often.”

“I would like that very much.” Marianne placed her second hand on top of Mercedes’s, looked her in the eye, and smiled. A truly genuine smile and carried with it a sense of gratitude she’d never seen from Marianne before.

“Then it’s settled. How about once a week, we come here at this time? I don’t want to trouble you with anything more than your duties already ask of you.”

“Oh, I don’t mind at all. That sounds lovely.” Marianne stood up, tugging Mercedes’s arm as she did so. “Say, I think the dining hall should still be open. Why don’t we go see if we can grab a little desert?”

Mercedes felt her cheeks warm up at the proposition. She let out a quick laugh. “What a wonderful idea. I wonder if they still have any of those sweet buns left?”

“Oh, the ones with the fruit in the middle?” Marianne’s eyes lit up when she heard the suggestion.

“The very same.” Mercedes felt her heartbeat quicken upon seeing Marianne’s excitement. To be able to give her such a good feeling meant everything to her. That’s all she wanted. To be able to have a positive impact on those around her.

“Then we’d better hurry, or else they’ll run out!” Marianne hastened her pace, though Mercedes resisted.

“Oh come now, there aren’t enough people here to deprive us of our treats.” As the two walked down the aisle back to the cathedral’s entrance, Mercedes held Marianne’s hand firmly. She rubbed her thumb on the back of Marianne’s hand. “And besides…” She slipped through her words. “I think I’d like for us to take our time getting there.”

Marianne brought her hand to her face to brush away a stray strand of hair. “O-oh. Okay. Yes, let’s.”

The pair walked side by side, hand in hand out of the cathedral as the daylight started to fade. Now, the snowfall had grown heavier, each flake drifting through the air before landing softly against the stone. Marianne looked to Mercedes, who returned her gaze. They smiled at one another as their eyes seemed to say “I’m glad you’re here.” And they headed off into the monastery, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This piece was done in collaboration with the lovely @mamirato on twitter as part of the FE3H Ultra Rarepair Big Bang. It was a blast to work with her, and I urge you to follow her because she makes some great art and i love her illustration for this piece! If you'd like you can also follow my twitter @xv_ictorious.


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